I seldom look at People magazine or US unless one is sitting tattered and three weeks old in a doctor’s waiting room. Or I am stranded at an airport. No really, I buy them at airports regularly and weekly at check out lines in the grocery store. It’s a guilty pleasure although I am sad to say as I get older, and the stars get younger, the celebrity news doesn’t thrill me as it used to. Still love the personal stories of the heroes of the Boston Marathon tragedy or appreciate the issue on the parents of the children who perished at Newtown Elementary. The fashion sections of do’s and dont’s are always good for a chuckle as well as the self-indulged star or starlet section in US called “25 Things You Don’t Know Me.” As I mentioned, I usually don’t know who they are much less care to read a laundry list of the name of their first dog or their favorite food.
But I was thinking, for my purposes in this blog, a little self-disclosure might be fun, since I drone on and on about subjects or events I find interesting or feel may interest you. Thought perhaps knowing a little more about me would lend that shared information more credibility.
1. I am mortally fearful of thunderstorms. Especially while driving. Don’t know if my fears are based on being trapped in a second floor apartment, tornado sirens blasting out my window in the flatlands of the midwest the first week I was married. Or perhaps it is just congenital, like it was for our old dog Trey. (See, I’ve already worked in my dog’s name and didn’t even have to list it.) But dark clouds gathering or the weekly emergency broadcast test signal on TV sends chills down my spine.
2. I am convinced that the fancy piece of plastic that pretends to keep toilet seats fresh and sanitary only goes in one big circle. Same dirty cellophane cover, tucked around the lid like a shower cap, just circling the lid for fool after fool, bottom after bottom. Never sat on them; never will.
3. In the same germaphobe vein, I don’t drink after others, even my children or grandchildren. No one, no matter who or how dear or special, do I want to share saliva backwash with. Same with lip or chap stick. My lips or no one’s.
4. I accidentally on purpose wore a friend’s watch home from her house after school in first grade. Mom made me return it to her and apologize to her scornful parents. Lesson learned. Never wear a plastic watch with a black rubber band strap again.
5. I can write my name in cursive or print with my toes. And a writing utensil, of course.
6. My brother called me Burl (he combined girl and boy; not sure about his spelling) from childhood well into college. My dad called me Punkin’. Dad wins alternate name category.
7. In high school, I always felt like “Miss Almost.” Lost cheerleader five times, student council eight and graduated number 11. Of course the top ten were in the newspaper. A friend at my last high school reunion heard me tell that and said, “Yeah, we should get you a t-shirt. On the front it should say, Miss Almost. On the back it should say, Get over it.”
8. I would leave my husband for Dennis Quaid or Andy Garcia. At least for a night. For Daniel Day-Lewis in The Last of the Mohicans, maybe a week.
9. I love birds except those that walk like people. You know, the ones that step one foot in front of the other instead of adorable birdlike hopping. i. e. pigeons, mourning doves, grackles, starlings. One exception might be any shore bird. Never saw a bird on the beach I didn’t like, walking humanlike or hopping.
10. Sundays give me a sad feeling of longing and I love Fridays. Just like in college.
11. My favorite number is three. Except for martinis.
12. I once contracted scabies ( an icky sort of body lice) after a fateful sit in a cedar hot tub. I was newly married and when I told my mother she advised me to get rid of them and not tell my husband. Which I did quietly until he called the next day from a business trip and said he thought he had lymphoma because of all the bumps under his skin. He welcomed the scabies and his new bride. I wouldn’t tell Dennis, Andy or Daniel about that though.
13. I flipped from the back to the front seat of a convertible once in high school when the driver slammed on the brakes. Landed unharmed. Two things. Should have been the driver since I was the only one not drinking. And seriously, how did I not make cheerleader?
14. My husband and I met on a blind date in high school. We played miniature golf. I nearly aced every hole because it had been a long summer of putt-putt dates. He thought I was athletic and I thought he was the second coming. Love, like our date, was also blind.
15. I met Nelson Mandela on a business trip with my husband to South Africa in 1994, soon after his release from prison and election to the presidency. Being in his presence was surreal, like meeting Gandhi or having an audience with God. It was magical and indelibly etched on my memory.
16. I won a set of World Book Encyclopedias at 13 by writing Ask Andy, a national science question column, and asking why it was so hard to swat a fly. Had my picture in the paper and got my green and grey set of 12 books delivered to our door. In case you are wondering, it’s because they take off backwards, so aim a half inch or so behind. Haven’t missed one since.
17. I’m pretty good on a pair of roller skates. As a kid, I once skated with Dallas Bias, the Police Chief, at the local rink. We skated arm-over-arm, hand-in-hand, leg crossovers as we rounded corners. Idol worship at its best.
18. Mr. Deitrick had a garage near my two room grade school (See Martin School post March 13, 2012) and he had a pet bear in a cage that we walked past to get home each day. Don’t know why I didn’t think it was strange or scary. Maybe because my parents voted in that garage every election day, stepping behind cloaked booths right beside his pot belly stove. And the bear.
19. I love Toby Keith’s American Soldier. I crank it up every national holiday, road trip or whenever I need an inspirational kick in the butt. Cry every time.
20. I have never had a McDonalds burger. Never. Still waiting for Letterman to call to do a spot on that.
21. I can sing and read music, but only when holding a Methodist hymnal. I can harmonize with any hymn, great or small and do it loudly and with confidence, much to my children’s’ chagrin. Especially on Easter morning or Christmas Eve.
22. I always carry a tape measure in my purse. I especially like the small leather one my sister gave me several years ago. It comes in handy for a myriad of things: furniture at flea markets, dress length, inches to the finish line if my grandson comes in second.
23. I am a slow reader and often invert numbers. Unless it is the finish line and my grandson comes in second.
24. I am addicted to lip gloss. Must have it on my lips day and night. Day on a dip-stick and night in a pot.
25. I am convinced waiters spit on or do worse to food returned to the kitchen if it is too cold, undercooked or not just right. I am sure it often happens to me since I always order at restaurants something like Sally in When Harry Met Sally.
